Practicing True Self Care

The past few years have led some people to believe practicing self-care looks like shopping, avoiding things you don’t want to do, taking bubble baths, drinking wine, watching TV, etc. Though some of these could be considered ways of taking care of yourself, in the long run, they don’t ‘fill your cup’ the same way taking care of yourself would. For example, shopping every time you want to practice self-care, could easily get you spending more than you should, causing you more stress in the long run.

Practicing self-care should be able to rejuvenate you. Great examples of these would include eating nutritious meals, making sure each meal has enough protein to support your energy and blood sugar regulation (20-30 g/meal), making sure you get enough sleep (8 hours on average), making sure you are well hydrated (not over or under hydrated), getting some movement into your daily practice, etc. Another way of taking care of yourself, is not avoiding the things you don’t want to do - this doesn’t necessarily mean you have to finish it. Breaking up overwhelming things into small bite size pieces can make it easier for you to finish some of it at a time, verses never working on it and getting more stressed as the deadline comes closer.

My favourite ways of getting regular movement include: yoga, walking (10, 000 steps a day), weight training, and partner dancing. Getting daily movement to move your body is a great way to support it physically. Our bodies are designed to move, and sitting down all day is not conducive to making sure our joints are well lubricated and our circulation is supported. Our veins don’t have muscles helping it to bring the blood back up to our hearts. The contraction of our skeletal muscles is what supports the blood flow back out our heart. So make sure you are getting some movement throughout the day. Enough to get you to increase your heart rate a bit and to cause you to sweat.

Procrastination is something that people do, especially when they are feeling overwhelmed by a particular task. So the best way to combat this is by splitting that task into smaller tasks that are easier to handle. This way you are able to progress with the task and not be overwhelmed by the size of it. It’s about moving in a forward direction. You are not asking for perfection. Perfection isn’t possible, nothing is perfect. If what is causing you to be stuck is perfectionist tendencies (trust me, I get it. I’m a recovering perfectionist), then reflecting on that and getting additional help (eg. psychologist, EMDR, hypnotherapy, etc), can help you in the long run, because perfectionism often stops more goals just from cause you to become stagnant. So turn larger goals or projects into smaller tasks, and take it one step at a time. This is about taking small steps towards your goals or projects, so that you are decreasing your workload in the process (instead of letting it accumulate).

Lastly, this wouldn’t be one of my mental health blogs without including positive self talk. You have to learn to be your own cheerleader, because sometimes it can feel like the world is against you, but you can be your own best friend and listen to what you need, and to out and get it. For example, I know when I need to hang out with my friends to decompress and get a different perspective. So in addition to being your own cheerleader and best friend, understanding where you are is important. Has your nervous system been hi-jacked? Do you always feel on edge or have a racing mind that can’t turn off? Maybe you need to support your nervous system with activities like yoga or meditation to calm your nervous system down, and get you out of the Fight-or-Flight setting. This is also where you fill your cup. Find the activities that bring you joy, that make you feel alive, and try to incorporate those activities as regularly as you can. These activities can be things like: crafting, running, jogging, playing with your pets or children, being with friends, dancing, etc. So explore different activities and see which ones fill you with joy.

To practice self care, you are prioritizing your needs (sleep, nutrition, movement, stress management, etc), helping your future self by taking small steps towards your project or goals regularly, and being your own cheerleader.

“I believe depression is legitimate. But I also believe that if you don't exercise, eat nutritious food, get sunlight, get enough sleep, consume positive material, surround yourself with support, then you aren't giving yourself a fighting chance.”

~Jim Carrey

~Dr. Charmagne

Are Your Needs Being Met to Thrive?

February is the month of love, and though it is often seen as romantic love towards another person. I want to ask you, how do you practice self-love? Self-love isn't narcissistic, it's about taking care of yourself and your needs. Are you getting your needs met to thrive? I’m not just talking about your basic needs (shelter, food, water, clothes, sleep) - though it does include these.

I’m talking about your needs to make you feel alive, and to support a healthy body and mind. Are you getting your movement in? How about connection, creativity, or fun? Are you getting these met? Because if you’re not, then there’s a chance that you are moving day-to-day in a daze, not present, and looking forward to sleep. This is not really living. You are not experiencing life, you are existing - which isn’t bad at all, especially when you’re going through a hard time, and this is the most you can do. However, I want to help support you with this month is thriving, and experiencing life to the fullest. So how do we do that?

Reflect on your needs - what do you need to be a vibrant human being? This can be different for everyone, but it will involve, sleep, nutrition, stress management, and movement (because those are your foundations of health). On top of these, you have other needs: the need to feel loved and appreciated, the need to connect with people you enjoy, the need for alone time, etc. What are they for you? For me, I need to be creative every day, and I need to be with people I love and enjoy.

How often do you need them? - once you find what your needs are, how often do you have to have them fulfilled? Your foundation will need to be met daily, while your other needs to thrive will be different. Do you need to be with your friends one or two times a week, a month, etc? How often and for how long do you need to be active? Are you pushing your body daily (eg. HITT, Barr, Flow yoga, etc (all of these are very yang)) or are you mixing it up and doing LITT, yin/restorative yoga, etc every other day? Once you’ve decided how often you need them, put them into your calendar and follow through with them.

Reframe - sometimes on our journeys to becoming better, we get in our heads and negative self-talk occurs. During these times, work on reframing the way you are talking to yourself. It first takes recognition to realize how you are talking to yourself, and noticing the negative thoughts that come up. Next is reframing it with something more positive. For example, I can’t do anything right. Reframe this to I’m learning how to do this better. Or something that resonates with you. The point is you are talking to yourself differently, This is important because the way you talk to yourself, and your thoughts create physiological responses in your body, causing certain hormones and neurotransmitters to be released. You can influence this by changing the way you think. With time, this will change how you behave and how you perceive your world.

Be patient yourself, we are all human experiencing with it is like to live as one. You may stumble and fall on this journey, and that’s ok. Pick yourself up and dust yourself off and keep walking. Reframe your thoughts, and do your best to get your needs met so you can be the radiant human you are meant to be.

~Dr. Charmagne