The past few years have led some people to believe practicing self-care looks like shopping, avoiding things you don’t want to do, taking bubble baths, drinking wine, watching TV, etc. Though some of these could be considered ways of taking care of yourself, in the long run, they don’t ‘fill your cup’ the same way taking care of yourself would. For example, shopping every time you want to practice self-care, could easily get you spending more than you should, causing you more stress in the long run.
Practicing self-care should be able to rejuvenate you. Great examples of these would include eating nutritious meals, making sure each meal has enough protein to support your energy and blood sugar regulation (20-30 g/meal), making sure you get enough sleep (8 hours on average), making sure you are well hydrated (not over or under hydrated), getting some movement into your daily practice, etc. Another way of taking care of yourself, is not avoiding the things you don’t want to do - this doesn’t necessarily mean you have to finish it. Breaking up overwhelming things into small bite size pieces can make it easier for you to finish some of it at a time, verses never working on it and getting more stressed as the deadline comes closer.
My favourite ways of getting regular movement include: yoga, walking (10, 000 steps a day), weight training, and partner dancing. Getting daily movement to move your body is a great way to support it physically. Our bodies are designed to move, and sitting down all day is not conducive to making sure our joints are well lubricated and our circulation is supported. Our veins don’t have muscles helping it to bring the blood back up to our hearts. The contraction of our skeletal muscles is what supports the blood flow back out our heart. So make sure you are getting some movement throughout the day. Enough to get you to increase your heart rate a bit and to cause you to sweat.
Procrastination is something that people do, especially when they are feeling overwhelmed by a particular task. So the best way to combat this is by splitting that task into smaller tasks that are easier to handle. This way you are able to progress with the task and not be overwhelmed by the size of it. It’s about moving in a forward direction. You are not asking for perfection. Perfection isn’t possible, nothing is perfect. If what is causing you to be stuck is perfectionist tendencies (trust me, I get it. I’m a recovering perfectionist), then reflecting on that and getting additional help (eg. psychologist, EMDR, hypnotherapy, etc), can help you in the long run, because perfectionism often stops more goals just from cause you to become stagnant. So turn larger goals or projects into smaller tasks, and take it one step at a time. This is about taking small steps towards your goals or projects, so that you are decreasing your workload in the process (instead of letting it accumulate).
Lastly, this wouldn’t be one of my mental health blogs without including positive self talk. You have to learn to be your own cheerleader, because sometimes it can feel like the world is against you, but you can be your own best friend and listen to what you need, and to out and get it. For example, I know when I need to hang out with my friends to decompress and get a different perspective. So in addition to being your own cheerleader and best friend, understanding where you are is important. Has your nervous system been hi-jacked? Do you always feel on edge or have a racing mind that can’t turn off? Maybe you need to support your nervous system with activities like yoga or meditation to calm your nervous system down, and get you out of the Fight-or-Flight setting. This is also where you fill your cup. Find the activities that bring you joy, that make you feel alive, and try to incorporate those activities as regularly as you can. These activities can be things like: crafting, running, jogging, playing with your pets or children, being with friends, dancing, etc. So explore different activities and see which ones fill you with joy.
To practice self care, you are prioritizing your needs (sleep, nutrition, movement, stress management, etc), helping your future self by taking small steps towards your project or goals regularly, and being your own cheerleader.
“I believe depression is legitimate. But I also believe that if you don't exercise, eat nutritious food, get sunlight, get enough sleep, consume positive material, surround yourself with support, then you aren't giving yourself a fighting chance.”
~Jim Carrey
~Dr. Charmagne