We’ve all heard about self-love. Some people say self-care instead, however, they essentially mean the same thing. If you practice self-love, self-care comes more naturally because you understand that you need it, and you respect and love yourself enough to practice self-care. What do you do for yourself to take care of yourself and lift yourself up? There has been some misconception that self-love looks like having a bubble bath, having a night out with the girls, or drinking some wine at the end of the day. Though these can be parts of self-love, ultimately, it’s doing something you know will help you feel better. This can include sleeping earlier, to make sure you're getting the amount of sleep you need. It can also be enjoying your favourite hobby, whatever that may be, going to the gym, or eating healthy. Everyone should be practicing a bit of self-love every day. We practice taking care of people around us, whether you have children or not, so take the time you need to care for yourself as well. Some of my favourite things to recommend to patients are below.
Do something new at least once a week
Some people, especially when they become parents, lose a sense of who they are. They don’t know what they like, they don’t have any hobbies. Their lives revolve around their family and work - and nothing outside of it. There is nothing wrong with that if you are happy with it. However, if it saddens you that you feel like you have lost who you are, then this is a great way to start to discover things about yourself again. Do you like soccer? You never know until you try. Scared of massages? The worse thing you can do is leave and never come back - however, what if you find out that you actually enjoyed it? Then you got over fear, and found something that you enjoy!
Practice positive self talk
The main thing is to practice talking to yourself as if you were talking to your best friend or loved one. The way we talk to them is often encouraging, sympathetic, and with love - which can be the opposite of how we talk to ourselves.
To read more about how to practice positive self-talk, click here.
Boundaries
We all have boundaries. Some of us know where they are, and others don’t. Knowing where your boundaries are, and staying true to them is a wonderful way to practice self-care. It’s also a practice of self-love because you are standing up for yourself. Are you an introvert, who has been invited to dinner? It’s okay to say no, especially if you need your lone time to recharge. That friend should be fine with meeting up another day, especially it wasn’t for an emergency. This includes saying yes to everything. At some point, people realize that they’re saying yes to too many things, and it’s all piling up on them and wearing them down. Saying no is okay, someone will step up to fill in the gap. It’s impossible to keep giving from an empty cup. You have to take care and give to yourself so that you can give to others.
With all things that come to self, don’t be hard on yourself. Change can be difficult, and building up new habits takes a while. Remember you are human, living and experiencing life. Sometimes, what you are planning doesn’t happen, and you falter. That’s okay. Pick yourself up, and do it again. With enough practice, and awareness, you can notice these things faster, and then you can actively choose if a certain thought is worth fixating on or not (meditation is a great way to practice that).
~ Dr. Charmagne